Western Media Can Manufacture a Narrative out of Nothing: A Parody

A barely exaggerated parody after the prologue, illustrating the point on how the media act in collaboration with the governments to create a dominant narrative from unsupported allegations.  The transmutation of rumor into widely accepted truth is a fascinating exercise to behold.

February 20, 2015 


The Ukraine crisis has exposed what’s been long discussed in the alternative or dissident Western media: the sheer bias in the mainstream Western media in favor of western (read US) policy. When a country’s government or an opposition group/leader becomes a Western ally, along with special deals with the IMF, Western military, and intelligence agencies comes favorable coverage from mainstream Western media outlets.

In Ukraine, whatever allegation Kiev makes – in reality in conjunction behind the scenes with its masters – is covered breathlessly as if always worthy of serious consideration. 

Allegations, no matter how ridiculous and specious, become News, and are amplified by various echo chambers to then become the dominant narrative, to be accepted as Truth, all without any serious factual proof or data. This transmutation from allegation to accepted truth is so smooth, that any counter argument to what is now considered Fact, is – if not dismissed outright as a Conspiracy Theory and thus unworthy of serious rebuttal – pitilessly analyzed for the tiniest error, the motives of those advancing the counter-narrative and their very trustworthiness questioned, all in a manner that the original allegation now accepted as Fact never was.

In particular the absolute demonization of Putin by Western media for Western audiences is absolute and analogous to that of Obama by Fox and conservative media for its conservative audience. Their personal backgrounds, motives, emotional and mental states are twisted, exaggerated and through selective quotes and “expert” analysis made to reveal the full horror beneath. Their motives are incomprehensible to normal human beings because unlike most politicians and leaders, they are different, otherworldly, uncaring, mad, Evil. Talking of Putin, John Pilger in a talk on “War by media and the triumph of Propaganda” said “..he is a pantomime villain who can be abused with impunity.”

The barely exaggerated parody below, illustrating the point, is written in a combined style of the virtual Kiev outlet, Reuters (which prides itself on just reporting what officials say and not make any judgements about what they say – and is thus “objective”); the New York Times (which prides itself on its deeply informed contacts within political circles); and the Guardian (which like most British outlets editorializes and adds words laden with emotion).

In truth these deeply Russophobic outlets borrow liberally off each other and other Western media (as following their Twitter feeds show) thus actively participating in the alchemy of turning Allegations into Truth without a presumption of burden of proof.

The perils to this slavish adherence to Kiev was most recently shown in Debaltseve where Western media were forced to dismantle their narrative by reality being exposed much sooner than similar situations before.

The veneer of objectivity – which is very important for Western journalists to maintain – is maintained by ensuring that the article itself not claim anything and by establishing a false spectrum of opinion between “hawks” and “doves”,,and some quotes from “the other side”. The bias is clear by having the bulk of a story be quotes from Very Important Western officials, anonymous sources (often the same people off the record) and “independent” Western think tanks, saying whatever they want no matter how ridiculous and obviously self serving; by selective use of quotation marks, by adding emotional and weasel words; and structuring the article from the headline to the body to produce a very specific affect on the reader.

We report, you decide indeed.

Putin is Alien Reptilian Overlord, Kiev Claims

by Kosmo Kramer, Alec Loon, Natalia Zinger

President Petro Poroshenko, returning to Kiev after a trip to the Donbass congratulating his troops on what he stated was an orderly withdrawal from Debaltseve, and after they “gave a blow in the teeth” to the enemy, released a statement saying that Kiev’s intelligence reports from various sources including social media chatter revealed that Russian President Vladimir Putin was most likely a Reptilian shape shifter from the Alpha Draconis quadrant.

“Extensive analysis, including numerous YouTube videos, shows that Putin is most likely a Reptilian overlord sent here to facilitate the taking over off the planet. We urge the World to take note especially given the aggression his troops have perpetrated on Ukraine apparently using alien technology. Indeed there is no other explanation as to why the Ukrainian armed forces had to file out of Debaltseve in an orderly formation.”

EU leaders reactions ranged from alarm to calls for calm.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s spokeswoman, Christiane Witrz, reported that while the Chancellor had no official comment at the moment, there was a deep concern that this latest information could threaten the Minsk accords that she worked so hard to achieve.

“From the view of the German government, Putin must adhere to the agreements made in Minsk.” she said. “There will be serious consequences to European, World peace and indeed potentially beyond, if he – or perhaps “it”, we have no confirmation – did not”

“The OSCE must also be allowed to independently verify the presence of alien technology,” she added.

French President Francoise Hollande stopped while scootering through the streets of Paris, cautioned that the West must deal with Putin irrespective of whether the allegations were true.

“Putin made commitments. We must deal with him regardless step-by-step and avoid antagonizing the situation. Whether or not Putin is Reptilian, he needs to be part of the solution. I will call for a discussion in the Normandy format as soon as I get back.”

Philip Hammond, the British Foreign Secretary was more scathing in his remarks.

“Those who bury their heads avoiding understanding the implications of the latest news are simply repeating history when Europe appeased Hitler. Putin is not just a tyrant, a dictator but potentially an alien overlord who can threaten the entire planetary system.”

EU Council President Donald Tusk said in the next meeting of EU ministers the sanctioning of Roscosmos, the Russian space agency which has already suffered from sanctions, and it’s Chief Administrator Igor Komarov along with other key administrators “who might be facilitating nefarious space activities” would be discussed.

“We have to show the courage to challenge Russia that we are serious about Peace. We will discuss holding Russia ultimately accountable for any unexplained anomaly, meteor strike, gamma-ray flashes or supernova,” he said.

NATO Secretary General Jens Stoltenberg, speaking on a visit to Lithuania where he was inspecting air defenses, was quoted as saying

“While Russia is not our enemy, we need to prepare for all scenarios.” he said “Fortunately we have long prepared for exactly such a contingency and we will discuss adding 2.23% more of the GDP of all NATO countries to the annual defense budget to start building out for the next 20 years a comprehensive space shield that will deter enemy attacks from Space. We can no longer use the excuse that there are no funds to delay strengthening our space defenses. ”

Why talk of schools, healthcare, domestic infrastructure, if there are no people or land to protect?” he added.

In Washington, a grim White House press secretary Josh Earnest, said President Obama had been briefed on the matter.

“President Obama considers potential threats to National Security very seriously. Our intelligence agencies will do a thorough review and prepare options back to the President within two months.” he said. “We will not rule out any options including military against any threats that may be present, through we will always pursue diplomatic options first.”

Anonymous sources within the administration confirmed that the President was in deep discussions with his national security team. “He is clearly concerned and asked for a thorough review of how our intelligence agencies could not anticipate this possibility”, said an extremely senior White House resident who asked he not be named since he had not authorized anyone to talk to the press.

Meanwhile the Chairman of the Senate Armed Service, Senator John MacCain approached in the Senate corridors, as he walked with his colleague Senator Lindsey Graham, reacted furiously.

“Our president “analyses” and “thinks” , while alien ships might at this very moment be speeding for a full scale invasion of the little blue rock we love. Is he even from this planet? I will demand that we immediately fund a program to build spaceships capable of long range attacks. We cannot wait for our Freedoms we fought so hard for to be taken from us by dithering and indecisiveness. We need to fight the aliens there.”

Before they kill us all“, Graham added.

At the UN in New York, Western diplomats reacted somberly at the news

“The United States does not just have a responsibility to protect humanity from those who would do it harm,” Samantha Power, the US Ambassador to the UN said forcefully. “We need to protect all intelligent life forms wherever they exist. As not just a US government representative, or a humanitarian, but as a mother I need to ensure we do everything we can to leave the planet and the Universe a better place than we found it.”

“I will discuss with my colleagues how to address this latest threat. We cannot stay idle” she added wiping tears of earnestness from her eyes.

The controversy also spilled onto the 2016 presidential race. Former Florida Governor, Jeb Bush, who has emerged as a leading Republican candidate was speaking at a fundraiser in Miami when the news broke.

“This is result of failed Democratic policies and the worst President in the history of the United States. We not only don’t have a coherent Domestic Policy to deal with illegal aliens in the United States, but no far reaching Foreign Policy to deal with space Aliens like Putin”, Bush thundered to cheers and applause. “The President lacks the vision and resolve to face the domestic threats let alone planetary and galactic ones. The next president needs to have a bold Universal vision that ensures that the greatest nation in the history of the Universe these 6000 years, is safe from its enemies domestic, foreign and interstellar. We need to protect our homeland. With walls. And perhaps an impenetrable glass dome. Vamanos!”

Former Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton‘ who is widely expected to run for President was said to be deeply troubled by the latest allegations against Putin.

A source extremely close to Clinton who asked not to be named said “I will remind you that I – I mean Hilary – was among the first to warn that Putin was a threat to Humanity. This latest news corraborates her far thinking approach.”

Neera Tanden, from the progressive think tank Center for American Progress in Washington DC urged caution and calm.

“I see a lot of hysteria being generated by the hawks. Firstly, we are not sure if these aliens exist. Secondly, we don’t know they are speeding towards the Earth. Thirdly we are not sure if Putin is one of them. Fourthly, we must learn to understand what they want and learn to talk with them. We should not jump to military options or threats. We will organize a conference of experts to discuss the allegations and implications in depth.”

In a regularly scheduled press conference, Putin spokesman Dmitri Peskov evaded pointed questions from Western journalists on the allegations.

“This is clearly nonsense.” he said without explaining why. “I will not take any more questions on this topic.”

In a pre-scheduled program in the Kremlin-funded RT, edgily entitled “Has the Demonization of Putin Jumped the Shark”, host Annisa Naouai asked Professor Stephen Cohen, a vocal critic of Western Foreign Policy and Media who was invited to comment on Pentagon reports that Putin suffers from Aspergers and Russia is trying to control the weather, about the lastest allegations. Cohen stared blankly at the camera for several seconds, removed his glasses and earpiece and burying his face in his hands, sobbed quietly.

(Additional reporting by Shaun Talker, David Hizzoner, Jason Bourne, Pavel Politicks; Editing by Dick Balmforth, Simon Isdull )

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3 Responses to Western Media Can Manufacture a Narrative out of Nothing: A Parody

  1. Pingback: Western MSM forms Dominant Narrative On Nemstov | ludwitt

  2. Pingback: Leonid Bershidsky’s Swipe at Misinformation reveals HIS Misinformation | ludwitt

  3. Pingback: Media Hacking: Western Media’s Circle Jerk on Putin’s “Disappearance” | ludwitt

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